Traditions or No traditions?
Depending on your culture, religion, heritage and style - there could be 476579876 different traditions that are “supposed” to be a part of your wedding day. With more and more lean towards a unique and customized wedding, Traditions are making a unique comeback and even taking on a new look with a few twists.
While the list could go on for decades, I will only give you a few here to peak your curiosity and maybe open your eyes to cool old traditions that have disappeared in recent years. This way you can decide if they are important to you, can be altered to fit your big day, or skipped over entirely.
Something Old, Something Borrowed
Stemming from an Old English rhyme: “Something Olde, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue, A Sixpence in your Shoe.” The first four items have become synonymous with good luck charms a bride needs to carry with her on her wedding day. The sixpence is largely only included in British customs.
Each of the items carries unique symbolism for the bride-to-be. Something old is said to represent the bride’s past, while the something new speaks to the couple’s happy future. The bride is supposed to get her something borrowed from someone happily married so some of that love and longevity will be shared. Something blue represents fidelity and love.
Not seeing each other before the wedding
How many couples spend the bulk of their wedding morning texting each other from separate, secret locations? You’ve even seen the cute wedding photos where the bride-to-be and groom-to-be are standing on opposite sides of a doorway so they can be photographed together without actually seeing each other.
But why? That’s just weird.Our research turned up that this dates back to the time of arranged marriages. It was believed the bride and groom didn’t need to see each other before the ceremony in case they didn’t like what they saw. The origin of the veil? Yep … to keep the groom from seeing his new wife until it was too late to back out.Today, it’s widely accepted to just be bad luck, although many couples risk it and have a “first look” to take advantage of some alone time before the big event begins as well as to do some photography before the ceremony.
The Wedding Cake
Serving a fancy cake at nuptials is a custom that dates back to medieval times, although it has gotten much fancier in modern times, with tiers and toppers and layers. Made from wheat, cakes were originally a symbol of fertility and prosperity. Thank goodness the tradition of throwing the cake at the bride hasn’t survived the times, because that’s how it used to go down. Thankfully, now, we just cut and serve it like normal people.
Bridesmaids
The origin of the bride walking down the aisle with a pack of her best friends has a bit of a gruesome twist to it. It wasn’t to dress up wedding photos at all, but to confuse evil spirits or those who wished to harm the bride. Initially, bridesmaids all wore the same thing as the bride, so if there were any evil spirits lurking around, they had a one-in-eight chance of picking the right lady to haunt. Think of it as the earliest form of the body double. Although today, brides aren’t wary of evil spirits like they once were, the pack of ladies still stands next to their bride, and I bet if anyone did try anything funny, the ladies would tackle them. At least they would have in the movie.
Candle Lighting
This is among one of the more popular ceremonies with couples today. In this case, two small candles are placed on the side of one larger candle. The bride and groom each take a small candle that is pre-lit and together, they light the large candle in the middle. This symbolizes 2 flames becoming one, just as their lives are.
To symbolize two families becoming one, often times the Mother of the bride will approach the ceremony space and light the bride’s candle and the Mother of the groom will do the same for his candle. The couple then performs the ceremony. Although it is uncommon where the unity candle originated, it is still a great way to show your loved ones the unity of your marriage.
Tie the Knot (Literally!)
According to POPSUGAR, “among the various ways you can refer to marriage, the phrase "tying the knot" is often heard. But where does it come from? Interestingly, tying the knot is actually in relation to one of the oldest wedding traditions that literally binds a couple's hands together. Embracing hands has long been a symbol of love and the ritual of handfasting dates back to the ancient Mayans, the Hindu Vedic community, and the Celts in Scotland. According to BBC, "handfasting is the symbolic act of a couple's hands being tied together, often with cords or ribbons, representing their union." The most evidence of where this ritual originated was present around the Middle Ages, but handfasting was a symbol of engagement, not marriage. Prior to 1939, it was legally recognized by Scotland as a marriage practice in place of church weddings. Modern couples in Scotland still choose to continue the tradition today either at the same time or the same day of their legal union. The ceremony is often connected to nature and typically takes place outdoors. There are also other variations of tying the knot across different cultures and couples. The phrase "hand in marriage" also stems from this practice.”
Pass the Rings Around
Unlike other ceremonies, passing the rings around is a way to include not just your parents but all the guests at your wedding. Martha Stewart Weddings perfectly describes it as, include guests in the ceremony by having each person bless your bands. Prior to this couple's wedding, two friends took custody of the couple's rings, tying them to two handkerchiefs (one of which was passed down for generations on the groom's side). One ring went down one side of the aisle and the other went down the opposite, with every guest having a chance to hold the rings and bestow their blessings and positive thoughts toward the marriage.
Wine Ceremony
Jaime Mackey in Brides explains a wine box ceremony is a wedding ritual in which, during the proceedings of the wedding ceremony, a bottle of wine is enclosed into a box. Some couples opt to add an extra layer of meaning within the ceremony by including love letters to one another alongside the wine, or by designating a specific occasion (such as a future anniversary) when the box will be opened and the wine will be drank. The first step would be to pick a wine of your liking. Be sure to choose one that will preserve well! Plus, most wines are stored better horizontally so be sure to make sure it will work well with how you plan on storing it! Lastly, incorporate the box into your ceremony. Have the wine and the box on display on a table near the altar, along with anything you wish to include in the box (such as letters to one another). When the time comes, have your officiant explain the significance of the wine box. Make sure he or she mentions the wine you've chosen and how long you plan to save the wine (or if you're going to open it to help you get through a tough time or on another occasion). Then, the two of you will place the wine and any accompanying items into the box and close the lid. Your officiant should explain that you will be sealing the box, but save the hammering for once you're back home, as a long pause in the ceremony for you to hammer the box shut could take a while! You could also choose a box with a latch and a lock, which you could more quickly close with a key mid-ceremony.
Jumping the Broom
This tradition dates back to the 1800s and is believed to have origins in western African weddings and Wiccan communities. It became popular in the United States during the 1970s, after the publication of Alex Haley’s book “Roots.” Jumping the broom takes place at the very end of the wedding ceremony, after the officiant pronounces the couple as officially married. The newlyweds jump over a broomstick before the recessional to symbolize sweeping away their old lives and welcoming their new life together.
Handfasting
This is a Celtic custom with medieval roots. It involves binding the couple’s hands together with ribbons or cords to symbolize their union. In the middle ages, handfasting was used in place of a marriage license before weddings were recognized as legal responsibilities of the government and church. Each colored cord has its own meaning, such as white for purity or red for passion.
Breaking Glass
At Jewish weddings after the rabbi announces the newlyweds, the groom smashes a wrapped piece of glass with his foot. This is followed by applause and a cheer of "Mazel tov!" from the guests. Tradition says that the couple will remain married for as long as the glass is shattered. Some couples also do this in remembrance of the Jerusalem Temple's destruction.
The Bridal Shower
Again, when daughters were considered property, fathers would sweeten the deal for the groom by including a dowry of money, land, or livestock. If the father didn’t approve of the groom, he might withhold the dowry. Bridal showers were created in the 16th century as an alternative, with friends and family giving small gifts as a replacement for the dowry so the couple could still wed. Hooray for crowdsourcing!